This is the important first step in arranging your marriage. You should consult with the clergy as early as possible to find out which dates are available and whether the wedding can take place at the time you want.

Marriages in this country may take place on any day and up to six o’clock in the evening. Clearly, however, the church will not always be available because of other services.

Usually, the wedding service takes about an hour from start to finish, allowing for the arrival and departure of all concerned. If there is to be a Mass the time has to be extended to about one hour and fifteen minutes.

If other weddings have already been booked, you must allow for this when arranging the time. Make sure that the agreed date and time of your wedding is entered in the Marriage Diary by the priest when the marriage is booked. This can be done by telephone and should be followed up in writing (email will suffice). This is the only way to avoid a double booking, which would be disastrous. You will then be sent a letter asking you to confirm the details and to provide a non-refundable deposit of £35 to secure the booking.

If for any reason, you change the date or the time of your wedding, the church must be notified immediately and the entry in the Diary must be verified.

Marriage Preparation

You will be required to attend a Preparation class—this is normally a 1 day course.

When you come to arrange your marriage the priest must first ascertain that you are, in fact, both free to marry. This means that the requirements of both the civil and the church law have to be met. Briefly this means that you must both be of marriageable age and that there is not other marriage existing.

Where either party has been married before this must be made known from the outset and the priest will then discuss with you the implications of the situation. Marriage law is very complicated and it is best that each case be dealt with personally.

Once the marriage is arranged the priest will complete with you the necessary forms. The catholic partners are required to provide a Certificate of Baptism issued within six months to the date of wedding and evidence for their Confirmation. Partners who are not Catholics but who have been baptised should have a document to verify this.

Various other personal information has to be supplied such as addresses, parents names and so on, and when the form is completed you will be asked to add your signature confirming that the information is correct. This, of course, is done in a private interview with the Priest concerned.

All weddings in this Church come under the jurisdiction of the Superintendent Registrar of Bexley Registration District.

To be legally married in this Church (which for legal purposes is called “The Chapel of Our Lady of the Angels”), one of you must live within the Bexley Registration District or attend this Church as your normal place of worship.

If you have not already contacted the Registrar it is very important that you both do so as soon as possible, but not more than twelve months before the intended date of your marriage.

Please note the requirements in the next paragraph: there are new rules in force.

After you have booked your ceremony, you are both legally required to give a Notice of Marriage, in person, at a Register Office. This must be done at least 28 days prior to your ceremony date and know where and when you are holding your ceremony. You will need to take certain documents with you to the appointment, this will depend upon personal circumstances. Please refer to the govt. website. A fee will be charged for each certificate issued.

When the two notices have been given, you must wait 28 clear days before the ceremony can take place. The ceremony must take place within one year of the date of the first notice.

The Bexley District Registrar’s address is:-

Danson Road

Danson Park

Bexleyheath

DA6 8HL

Telephone No. 03000411103

(For Registrars in other districts see the local telephone book, or enquire at a local Citizens’ Advice Bureau, Civic Centre or Town Hall.)

On the day itself, your marriage will be registered at the Church by an Authorised Person, who will give you your final Marriage Certificate for which a further fee is payable at that time

A marriage in which only one partner is a Catholic is called a ‘mixed marriage’. In such a case, the wedding ceremony is no different but the question of whether to have a Nuptial Mass should be referred to the Priest when the wedding is booked.

The Church requires the Catholic Partner to give an undertaking in writing, about the future practice of their Faith and about the Catholic upbringing of all the children of the marriage. The other partner, must, of course, be aware of this requirement and consent to it as a consequence of marrying a Catholic. This is a matter, which will be dealt with in the course of pre-marital instruction from the Priest.

The Church fully respects the religious beliefs and practices of all denominations and where there is a ‘mixed marriage’ , the order of service you chose may well reflect this. The Priest will advise you about this.

The ‘Rite of Marriage’ used in the Catholic Church follows a set form of an Instruction by the Priest, certain Questions and Answers led by the Priest and the Exchange of Marriage Vows. You will, of course, be able to discuss this part of the ceremony with the Priest who is officiating at your marriage but the form of Marriage itself is a legal formula and it cannot be varied at all.

However, the Church surrounds this part of the ceremony with various Prayers and Reading, which are intended to give added dignity to the service and to express significance of your marriage. Here, as with the Hymns, you have a choice and you should consider carefully the possibilities which are offered. The Priest will be very glad to help you in choosing between the prayers, Readings and the Form of Blessing.

With regard to the Readings, you may wish to have these ready by members of your families or by friends. Again, the Priest will advise you about this and those who are to read should certainly be present at the rehearsal.

A rehearsal of the Wedding Ceremony should take place if possible a few days prior to the Wedding and as many as possible of those actually taking part should be present at it.

If you wish to be married by a Priest from outside the Parish, or to have other Priests present at your Wedding, let us know so that proper arrangements can be made.

Hymn Books are provided by the Church or you may decide to have a printed Order of Service for the occasion.

Before considering the various choices of music, it important to remember that, in a Church service the music does not just provide a jolly accompaniment to what we hope will indeed be ‘the happiest day of your life’, but should also create a prayerful atmosphere during the service. It follows, then, that some pieces of music, even if they may be ‘favourites’ of bride, groom or the families, are not always suitable for this very special purpose.

The music, too, should not just be ‘added on’ to the service; there are some parts, which are especially enhanced by music and other parts where it is not appropriate. Finally, music must never hold up or delay the proceedings, so there is a limit to the number of musical items you can choose.

The following notes are intended as hints; the Choir mistress or Organist will be glad to discuss the details of your particular wedding when you are at the stage of planning the service. Please give as much notice as possible.

Depending on whether you have chosen the ‘simple’ Marriage Service or the form of Marriage Service within the celebration of Mass (the ‘Nuptial Mass’) there are two music ‘schemes’ to consider.

• Usually a rehearsal is arranged with the officiating priest on the day before or on a day nearest to the actual wedding.